


lev is not allowed in miyagi any more

by deducingontheroof



Series: sf18 bonus round fills [26]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cults, Gen, Mess, chatfic, fukunaga uses the knife emoji, non-binary kenma, sex mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 07:29:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15836604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deducingontheroof/pseuds/deducingontheroof
Summary: 100percentmess:something gr8 happened today!!!!!!shortnspicy:what happened100percentmess:i joined a nu club!!!





	1. Chapter 1

**> >from: 100percentmess**

 

**100percentmess:** yakusan smth gr8 hpnd 2 me 2day!!!!!!!

**shortnspicy:** literally cannot understand you

**100percentmess:** sry

**100percentmess:** something gr8 happened today!!!!!!

**shortnspicy:** what happened

**100percentmess:** i joined a nu club!!!

**shortnspicy:** you do know you’re in the volleyball club

**100percentmess:** yeye but like

**100percentmess:** not in school!

**100percentmess:** im in a club and everyone likes me

**shortnspicy:** everyone likes you?

**shortnspicy:** are you sure?

**100percentmess:** MEAN YAKUSNA

**100percentmess:** IM SURE THEY SSIAD SO

**shortnspicy:** i swear to all that is holy lev

**shortnspicy:** if you’ve gotten yourself involved in some human trafficking scheme

**100percentmess:** dnt be silly yakusan!!!!!

**100percentmess:** wud they let me leave if ti was a scm??

**shortnspicy:** don’t take this the wrong way

**shortnspicy:** but i have genuinely never met someone as moronic and impractical as you

**100percentmess:** awqjd thanks yakusan that measn im unique!!!!!!!!!!!

**shortnspicy:** i.

**shortnspicy:** of course that’s how you’d take that

**shortnspicy:** anyways

**shortnspicy:** tell me about this stupid club so i can make sure that you’re not getting yourself into something dangerous

**100percentmess:** sure thing yakusann!!!

**100percentmess:** so the leader right his name is yuuji or smth

**100percentmess:** and es supr cool and has a tong ring!!!!

**shortnspicy:** you don’t know his full name?

**100percentmess:** wll no

**100percentmess:** bt!!!! i DO know that his like deputy or coleadre or smth

**100percentmess:** is called hana

**shortnspicy:** you don’t know her full name either.

**100percentmess:** ysee

**100percentmess:** no i dnt

**100percentmess:** but!!!!!!!

**shortnspicy:** here we go

**100percentmess:** the ckub hq is in myagi

**100percentmess:** in sendai

**shortnspicy:** what the fuck were you doing in sendai

**100percentmess:** joinng a club!!!

**100percentmess:** keep up yaakusan

**shortnspicy:** sure lev. i'm the one who’s not keeping up

**100percentmess:** ???

**shortnspicy:** whatever, go on

**100percentmess:** rite ok so

**100percentmess:** i strted as an initiate riht

**100percentmess:** nd once i og thru initiation and follow all there rules nd stuff i get 2 b a full member

**100percentmess:** and hten i get to move into the hq and start being a fll club member!!!!!!

**shortnspicy:** lev

**shortnspicy:** there are several things wrong with that statement

**shortnspicy:** first off, you’re not moving to sendai

**100percentmess:** ys i ma!!!!!!!!

**shortnspicy:** no.

**shortnspicy:** second off, what kind of club gets its members to live in the headquarters?

**100percentmess:** this vlub???

**shortnspicy:** lev, i need you to tell me something

**shortnspicy:** what’s the name of this club

**100percentmess:** uhhhhh lemme chk the pamphlet thingy yuuji gav me

**shortnspicy:** you do that.

**shortnspicy:** and send me a picture of the pamphlet, while you’re at it

**100percentmess:** OK SO its called the clt f seuxal exploration

**shortnspicy:** what the actual fuck lev

**100percentmess:** -attached image.jpg-

**100percentmess:** ?????

**100percentmess:** what do u men what the fck

**shortnspicy:** lev i swear to fuck

**shortnspicy:** it literally has cult in the name

**shortnspicy:** and you think it’s a club

**100percentmess:** um mm yea? it just a name

**shortnspicy:** LEV.

**shortnspicy:** shut up and listen to me

**shortnspicy:** you joined a sex cult

**shortnspicy:** you actual idiot

**100percentmess:** no id idnt!!!!!!!!

**shortnspicy:** shut the fuck up

 

**> >to: furry team**

**shortnspicy:** lev is not allowed in miyagi any more

**shortnspicy:** he also requires an escort to use the shinkansen

**imalwaysthiskuroo:** pfft

**SHIBA:** WAITH WHAT

**INU:** WHY???????????????????

**TheSaneOne:** I don’t even want to know.

**100percentmess:** YAK USSSAN PL S


	2. yaku cant bee trusted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will i ever write a fic including kenma without them being enby? doubtful.

**> >from: (almost) second years only**

  
**applepi:** why is lev here again

**nya:** yaku cannot bee trusted

**am i ace or am i the ace:** WHY NOT? ??

**nya:** he let lev join a cult

**it was a cult?:** can confirm

**am i ace or am i the ace:** WHY WOULD HE DO THAT

**nya:** type with your indoor voice

**am i ace or am i the ace:** mAKE ME

**nya:** >:c

**it was a cult?:** stop the violence

**nya:** Nyo.

**applepi:** stop talking in this group too many notifs

**nya:** Nyo.

**applepi:** …

**applepi:** mutes this

**nya:** cant read im deaf

**it was a cult?:** what does that mean???!?11/

**am i ace or am i the ace:** LEV I GOTTA. TELL U SMTH

**am i ace or am i the ace:** if u wanted things to make sense you should have stayed with yakusan

**nya:** :3c

**applepi:** get that face away from me

**it was a cult?:** :3c

**am i ace or am i the ace:** WHOA

**nya:** a step BACK

**nya:** MY FACE

**nya:** _:KNIFE:_

**it was a cult?:** oh

 

**> >to: protecc lev**

**it was a cult?:** YAKUSASAN IM BEING HARMED

**shortnspicy:** good.

 

**> >to: (almost) second years only**

**it was a cult?:** yakusan hates me

**nya:** not supurrised

**am i ace or am i the ace:** saw it coming

**applepi:** who doesnt

**it was a cult?:** R00D

**it was a cult?:** L0VE M3

**applepi:** no.

**nya:** nyes.

**applepi:** a step back

**it was a cult?:** a step forward

**applepi:** go away

**it was a cult?:** but i love u kenmasan

**nya:** i lev u kenma

**am i ace or am i the ace:** WILL U EVER LET THAT GO

**am i ace or am i the ace:** BUT I ALSO LOVE KENMA

**applepi:** gross

**applepi:** go away

**nya:** i thot you muted this channel :3c

**applepi:** …

**applepi:** bye

**See you later, space cowboy**

**am i ace or am i the ace:** EY LE EFT

**nya:** ey can run

**nya:** but ey can’t hide

**nya:** texts purro

it was a cult?: whomst’d’ve’ll’s’re???

**am i ace or am i the ace:** :3

**nya:** NYO

**nya:** _:KNIFE:_

**am i ace or am i the ace:** U CAN _:KNIFE:_ ALL U WANT

**am i ace or am i the ace:** BUT ULL NEVER TAKE MY SPIRIT

**nya:** kiyoko is gay

**am i ace or am i the ace:** W AHWQA T

**applepi has joined**

**applepi:** i hate every single one of you

**nya:** >:3c

**it was a cult?:** im scared

**it was a cult?:** i want a baanana

**am i ace or am i the ace:** NO THIRD YEARS OALOWD

**am i ace or am i the ace:** ONLY SEOCND YEARS

**it was a cult?:** but im a first yar??!1/1/1

**am i ace or am i the ace:** WHY R U HERE THEN

**am i ace or am i the ace:** WHY IS LEV HERE

**nya:** fur reasons

**am i ace or am i the ace:** understandable, have a nice day

**it was a cult?:** pl ease let me haev a banana

**applepi:** the real question is, why am i here

**nya:** bc u lev us

**applepi:** gross

**nya:** say u lev us

**applepi:** never.

**nya:** say iiiit

**nya:** kenmachannnn~~~~~

**applepi:** a step back

**am i ace or am i the ace:** TELL ME U LEV ME KNEAMSAN

**applepi:** nO

**it was a cult?:** pls kenmasna >??? do u leg me????

**am i ace or am i the ace:** leg

**nya:** leg

**applepi:** lol

**it was a cult?:** LE TME LIVE

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://charlie-albus.tumblr.com) | [dreamwidth](https://deducingontheroof.dreamwidth.org)


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